Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em

2/22/1973

Frank and Betty have moved out of Betty's mother's house and are now staying with Betty's brother, George. George is a very futuristic designer who has filled his house with weird remote-control gadgetry. They are expecting an important visit from Mr Fletcher, the head of a large building firm, who is interested in a demonstration of the mechanical devices in the house, so Frank is on his best behaviour(!) Whilst trying to use the mechanical toilet, Frank accidentally breaks the flushing mechanism. As you'd imagine, his attempts to repair this soon lead to the toilet brush, a ballcock and his slippers becoming wedged in the pan. By now water from the leaking cistern is seeping through the house and finding its way down to the control room in the cellar, where as you'd guess electrical controls are! The others attempt to prevent Mr Fletcher noticing the various mounting problems, but Frank is already at work trying to repair things. His efforts cause a major short circuit of the house's

3/1/1973

After being sacked from his job with the water board for getting stuck down a sewer!, Frank attends a public-relations course. On his first evening, Frank joins the other students in an automated canteen which dispenses food from a machine. Frank gets a plate of baked beans by mistake and attempts to stuff them back inside the machine, causing the machine to malfunction and cover everybody in food. Later, Frank bursts his hot-water bottle and accidentally manages to squirt the contents over an aggressively militant person on the course. The angry person retaliates by emptying the rest of the water over Frank's bed. However, he has got the wrong bed and a fight ensues! The following morning, the students are nursing their wounds as the first session begins. Frank is selected to take a part in a role-play exercise but starts an argument when he uses insulting phrases - picked up from the aggressive person the night before -against the course instructor. Convinced the instructor is a quac

3/8/1973

Frank and Betty are going on a second honeymoon. Frank is in the station toilet and (as you'd expect) manages to miss the train. He ends up running for it and grabbing hold of the back of the train. After being dragged along the platform for several minutes, he is eventually pulled inside by an angry guard and returned to Betty. After arriving at their somewhat run-down guest-house, Frank manages to tear the flimsy bedroom lino whilst moving the bed. While trying to disguise this, he manages to destroy most of the contents of his room. He decides to swap his broken wardrobe, dirty bedspread and torn mat with those in the opposite room. The room is occupied by a somewhat effeminate psychic who is convinced the strange disappearance of the contents of his room are an attempt by his dead grandfather to contact him! After a long struggle, Frank and Betty are eventually ready to go to bed. However, the floorboards under the bed are rotten and the bed collapses. Luckily, Frank has given the

3/15/1973

Betty is ill in hospital and Frank intends visiting her. He stops off at the greengrocer's to buy her some fruit. After much confusion with money, the shop assistant gives Frank the fruit free of charge in order to get rid of him, although he manages to cause an avalanche of oranges before he finally leaves the shop. Returning home, Frank finds the back door is stuck and has to climb in through the window. Magically, the back door finally opens and hits Frank's head, as he is crouching by the side of it! Frank then cooks his dinner - pudding. Even Frank gets this wrong and makes it explode, bringing down most of the kitchen shelves with it. At the hospital, Frank manages to spill some fruit squash on Betty's bedspread. He tries to swap this with another one in the same ward, but is mistaken by a doctor as the uncaring husband of another woman patient who has not been visited for many weeks. The doctor gives Frank a stern talking to and crossly tells him to take ""his"" wife home and care

3/22/1973

Frank has once again lost his job as a fireman after continually missing the fire-engine. He is depressed about this and convinced that he is a failure so Betty suggests that he goes to see a psychiatrist. As part of the session with the psychiatrist, Frank relates how he first met Betty at a riding school where he had been tossed from his horse into a pond. Frank and Betty's first proper date didn't go too well either - Frank become trapped in the mechanism at a bowling alley before managing to tear the letter-box off his front door in an attempt to sneak Betty indoors without his aunt hearing. Betty's mother's first meeting with Frank was also unsuccessful, with her mistaking him for a repair-man for her cooker. After demolishing the cooker, Frank managed to fall down her stairs, taking the carpet and banisters with him. These unhappy stories make the psychiatrist convinced that Frank really is a failure and that he can't offer any help. His initial beliefs confirmed, Frank leaves th

3/29/1973

When the new employment exchange manager Bradshaw insists that everyone can be helped, veteran Hooper gladly passes on the hopeless case of Frank Spencer. Both his serial disaster-record and 'qualification' (25 meter breaststroke, after 'attending' many schools, till age 11, no actual classes) support Hooper's point amply. Yet Frank acts indignant, and Bradshaw insists on trying - betting he'll keep a job for a week. The only way to win is to employ Frank himself, but this proves far more costly and dangerous for everyone and everything.